I have felt poorly for quite a while now. On 31 March, I had a total hysterectomy. I feel much better now, except for exhaustion. I have severe anemia but am working hard to clear that up. Iron pills and eating well is all I know to do.

I bought these tulips at Aldi's before I had surgery. I love that store. They have unique items along with the best produce around. The tulips bloomed while I was home, recovering. I really enjoyed watching them open and show their lovely color.

Six tulips from Aldi's $2,99

Miss Cleo ... showing her true diva self.

I couldn't put Samson's bed away after he passed. Miss Cleo has found it to be one of her favorite spots. I have it on the couch because it keeps hair off the couch cover. If someone happens to drop by, I just put it in the floor. I've tried to go outside to enjoy coffee or relaxing a bit but every time I do, I can't help but cry; how lonely it is to be without my happy companion. I pray I get past this bit of sadness. I love being outdoors but it's not the same. I have never spent any time outside without Samson since we moved here 12 years ago.

I've wanted a small step-back cabinet for many years. Unfortunately, I've not come across one that fits my budget. A friend of mine found this at an estate sale for me. She called and asked if I thought it was worth $35. I jumped on it! There is a drawer and a door on both sides, 3 pegs on the left along with a 14" drop leaf on the right. I don't have it in this particular spot now but this is the only picture I have of it. It's helped tremendously with storage of two appliances and some small items. I'm still looking for a small step-back cabinet ... one day ... :-)

I hope your weekend is wonderful and you have the opportunity to get outside and enjoy the sunshine.

Thanksgiving has come and gone ...

It was a quiet day for me. My relatives generally gather at a cousin's home but this year everyone decided to fend for their own families. That left me with my cats and parrot and memories of Samson. I prepared a beef roast, mashed potatoes, corn that I froze at summer's end, roasted Brussels sprouts and red onions, and yeast rolls. My aunt stopped by to eat with me. A while after dinner, we had hot chocolate with snickerdoodle liquid creamer and cinnamon chip, raisin, oatmeal cookies.

After auntie left, I cleaned the kitchen and had to stop for a little bit of a cry. Had Samson been here, he'd have loved those leftover roast bits and mashed potatoes and all else. It's odd what will tug at the heart at times. I can get through more than one day at a time without crying then something happens and I just can't help it. I've had more heartache and pain in my life than most but I honestly have most difficulty in dealing with this. I never had to do anything but be who I am for him to love me. I know he's no longer ill wherever he is now. That I do have comfort with.

Samson after Thanksgiving dinner 2014

Miss Cleo after a bit of roast on Thanksgiving 2015

Mister after a bit of roast on Thanksgiving 2015

I certainly took no selfies ... that's just not my thing. haha

The weather is dreary and ominous today. These trees are right beside my house. I'm always concerned with the high winds that blow through here. I hope to not wake up with one on top of me. :-)

Did you get a lot of shopping done on Black Friday or Cyber Monday? Lowe's is carrying their Black Friday sales through this week. I'm going to purchase a dishwasher tomorrow. Mine stopped working properly in May. I look forward to having another one. I thought I could live without one but I just don't keep up with the dishes. I hate to have them in the sink and I keep putting it off then I get aggravated at myself. When I saw the sale ad I knew what I would be getting!

I did some Cyber Monday shopping. I made a purchase from knitpicks.com for a mug/teapot/yarn sampler kit with coaster and dishtowel patterns. Someone will get some nice, heavy dishtowels for a Christmas gift. The "dishie" cotton yarn from knitpicks.com is nice.

I hope you've enjoyed the holiday weekend and are now in preparation for the next!

First snowflakes ...

Well ... it's here. What more can I say?

I've prepared the bird feeders and bath. I have a heater in the bird bath so it doesn't freeze. Feeders are hung. I love feeding the animals but I do not like them to get under my house. I live in the country so the mice, large and small, like to get under there and make homes. I can't have that. My cats know they're under there and go crazy. I hesitate to put d-con under there but I know of no other alternative. Any suggestions? A small stream runs by the house so it's the perfect place for animals. :-)  

Winter of 2014, two racoons somehow got under my house. Chewed a large hole in the ductwork and crawled in. Samson went bonkers, as did the cats ... and I, of course. The smell was so offensive. I didn't know what it was until I heard it chattering and then, as I looked through the vent, a little black-masked face was looking back at me. What an expense that was!

I have a few outdoor chores that, as I looked around the lawn, I realize I've forgotten. Tomorrow I'll get those done and all will be buttoned up out there.

I've been spending my days housecleaning (which I've neglected and done minimally the past year) and I am knitting Christmas gifts furiously. 

My heartache ...

My little old dog: a heartbeat at my feet.

Edith Wharton

 

Miss Cleo, Mister and Samson June 2012 when he was a chubby pooch :-)

Thu 5 Nov 15
For the last three days, Samson has not been able to walk. He takes two or three steps and his hind legs give out. He seems to have a problem with his left shoulder and right hip. Going out to potty is his only activity, twice a day. That is a difficult and time-consuming task. He falls; I pick up his rear until he gets his balance. Then three steps later is a repeat. I've gotten to the point where I can push my wheelchair with one hand and hold his rear up with the other to very slowly and carefully walk across the porch and the kitchen floor without him falling so often. When he gets to carpet, it's not quite so strenuous. He has eaten nothing for three days other than I hand fed him a wiener about two o'clock this morning. I put a bowl of very cold water near his mouth and, at times, he laps it up like he's parched. Other times, he acts as though I've offended him with the offering. I listen to the rhythm and clomp clomp as he's lapping that water and splashes it all over the bed. I never want to forget that sound. He looks at me with his big brown eyes. It's as though we see each others' spirits. (I took him to a trainer once. The man told me he'd been in business for 42 years and had never seen a person and a dog have such a connection where words were not necessary). He could read my eyes and I, his.

Samson Oct 2014 - He thought the couch was made for one

Last night, (Wed, 4 Nov) as I was preparing for bed, he would take a few steps then plop on the floor to rest while walking from the couch to the bed. It was difficult and seemed painful for him to stand on his hind legs as I helped him onto an ottoman, then the bed. I lay awake with him, crying uncontrollably. My constant companion for 12 years was ready to cross the bridge. The Rainbow Bridge. What would I do? I've slept a total of 7 nights in 12 years without him. I've not made one decision, even about what time of day to do certain chores, without thinking of him first. No matter how many mistakes I made with him; times I've lost my temper when he chewed up another pair of pants or socks (most of my bath towels have evidence shouting "Samson was here!"); or times I had to discipline him in the early years of training, his love for me never dimmed. Not once. He would bide his time until he forgot what he'd done (which wasn't long at all) and run with his tail wagging to jump on my lap and beg to go outside to play or just lay on the floor together. He taught me how to love unconditionally. We all make mistakes. We all say and do things we regret. Deal with it (or don't). Get over it (or don't). Live well and love no matter how others choose to live. He always forgave no, matter what. He always loved, no matter what. He always wanted to have fun and enjoy the moment.

Nov 2014 Practicing his 2nd favorite hobby (1st - eating)

Thursday afternoon (5 Nov) I took him to the vet's office after a laborious walk to and getting into the car. Dr. Fulks came out and asked what would be easier for Samson and me. Did I want this to take place in the office or in the car? I'd rather have the office. I don't want to picture him in the back seat like that every time I get in the car. She carried him into the exam room and laid him on the table as she explained what would happen. I could not speak. I could barely breathe. I signed the consent paper. The table was high enough that Samson and I were face-to-face about 16" apart. As she prepared the syringe, Samson pulled himself to the edge of the table. I knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted to rub noses. We did that often. As she gave him the shot, he never took his eyes off mine, nor mine from his. She left the room and came back with the last of the medication about 5 minutes later. We sat there in silence, knowing we'd had a great 12 years. He managed to signal one more nose rub as his eyes never left mine. Then he was gone. A part of me left with him.

Best friends April 2015

I went to my car and looked at all the evidence of such heartfelt memories: his leash and collar; the bottled water and snacks I always kept available for him tucked inside his portable bowl; the bed pillow he liked to lay his head on when we went for drives. I wish I'd done more. I wish we'd had more time.

Samson and his friend, Rudy October 2014

 As I pulled into the driveway, it was eerily quiet. No barking from the time I pulled in until I opened the door and no wagging tail to greet me.

Going to bed was just so abnormal. Miss Cleo and Mister didn't come to bed until almost 5:30 this morning. I had to put on an extra blanket because my natural heater wasn't laying on me.

As I woke this morning (6 Nov), I didn't want to get up. It was just too quiet. Samson snored like a man. ha I wanted to hear him snoring and feel him kicking me in his sleep. I'll keep those memories of him forever. Miss Cleo and Mister have looked everywhere for him. They've gone room to room and pillow to chair searching for their friend.

Samson, Mister (tabby), Miss Cleo (tuxedo) and Baby (Quaker parrot)

Each day will be a step to my new normal. Life always seems to work itself out. I will keep him always in my heart. I envision him running through fields of tall grass chasing rabbits and chipmunks. He never got to do that because I could not let him run free here. (He did have a nice fenced yard.) I hope he's doing that now.

Rain and the stressors of life ...

The colorful leaves have filled the lawn and left the trees bare. I cannot rake the lawn so I cut them up with my lawn mower. Sometimes it takes a few trips around to get them all broken into tiny pieces but I enjoy being out there.

I'm having a wiener roast for the neighborhood children tomorrow evening. It's just hot dogs with sauce, cole slaw, and all the other fixin's; marshmallows, chips and cookies. West Virginia has the best hot dogs in the country as far as I'm concerned. Check out this place not far from my home ... if nothing else, it will give you a giggle. Hillbilly Hot Dogs ... just the best they is. hee-hee I like just a regular slaw dog: bun, wiener, mustard, onions, sauce, and cole slaw. The others are okay if you're hankerin' for somethin' different.

I'm making a cookie recipe my cousin gave me when I was a youngster ... probably some 40 years ago. I think I was about 11 years old. Maybe. Who can remember back that far? ha Although there are many days those memories are far more clear than the ones from a few hours ago. :-) Chocolate chip oatmeal raisin walnut cookies. Simply amazing. I use coconut oil now instead of other oils. It really makes the dough lighter and crispier. I'll share the recipe if anyone wants it. I can type it up in a minute or two.

Samson is still with me. He has good days and bad. His good days consist of eating and sleeping and wanting his belly scratched.  :-) I have a vet check-up scheduled for 12 Nov. I'll know more of what he's dealing with then. Sometimes he seems to have a fever. He'll shake and quiver as though he's freezing. I cover him with an afghan and at times he wants me to sit there with him. Soon, he's snuggled up to me ... along with Miss Cleo and Mister. Then we all take a snooze. It's good I live alone, I guess. I let many indoor chores slide to spend time with my babes while knitting or crocheting.

Miss Cleo likes to hang close when Samson isn't feeling well. It's almost like she knows he's feeling poorly. She is 13 years old. I found her as she popped out from under my car one day in July 2002. She was barely 5 weeks, according to the vet, and on the verge of death with a viral infection and terribly high fever. That was the first time I've seen a cat "pant" like a dog. She's healthy now and very much a diva in this house.

I'm off to bake cookies and wash laundry! I'm happy it's nice enough to hang a few items out. I love the fresh smell of the outdoors.

Blessings ...

When is the right "time"?

This is the last time Samson and I spent time outdoors together. September 2015. He doesn't want to hang out anymore. He seems to be more comfortable indoors, sleeping.

I found Samson on December 9, 2003. It was bitter cold and snowing, with the nights dropping below zero. I had been to my property in the country where my aunt told me she'd seen two pups dead in a ditch down the road a few days prior. While driving by, I noticed one licking his paw. I immediately stopped my car and called a fellow I knew to ask him to come get the pup and put him in my Blazer. He did. Samson (as I later named him because I'd asked the Lord to restore his strength and fur) sat in the front seat just looking at me. He was so cold, his body was numb and he couldn't feel his broken hips and deep wounds. He was in the veterinary hospital for three days. He's been with me practically 24/7 since.

Samson has had multiple surgeries since for various tumors that pop up. He has a parathyroid gland tumor, diagnosed a year and a half ago. He's lost much weight, but is not emaciated. He is weak; stumbles and falls; appears to not see or hear well. He stands in one place often ... seemingly confused as to what exactly he wants to do. I have to really coax him to eat. He drinks two or three times a day but nothing like he once did. He sleeps all but a total of maybe an hour or two out of 24. I took him outside today to enjoy some sun. He always loved that. Twenty minutes seemed to exhaust him. He wanted in, made his way to the couch and is now sleeping.

I can't imagine how he will endure the winter. He gets dry heaves often; needs to eat grass. There really is none in the winter without digging through the snow. Since I use a wheelchair, I cannot get into the deep snow to assist him. His potty breaks are difficult because he doesn't like going out into the grass. He's never liked wet grass.

How do I decide when it is time to let him go? When is it time to cross that Rainbow Bridge? I don't want Samson to suffer. But I certainly don't want to shorten his life because I made the wrong decision.

Have you lost a furry friend this way? How did you make the decision? Do you have any regrets or wish you'd done something differently?

I know this is a difficult topic and if you choose to respond, I will appreciate it with all my heart.

Blessings ...

Sourdough starter and strawberries ...

Before I start with the title topics, I've a Samson update: he is one step away from being completely healed. He has a slight infection in the groin area wound and is on antibiotics. Here he is, anxiously awaiting the vet to removed his stitches. He had 20 stitches, total. He did very well with the removal, although the ones in the groin area caused pain. He's such a good dog, I don't think I could ever have another. He does exactly as I ask, for the most part. He adores me as much as I adore him. Thank you all for the posts and emails checking up on him. It means so much to me to know there are people who care.

 

*******************************************************************************

A friend of mine always has Easter dinner the weekend after Easter so all of her grandchildren and children can attend. I plan to attend this year. I've missed the last few years and always regret it. I have a huge 17-pound tavern ham in my freezer that I will never be able eat. I have to limit how much ham I consume because too much always results in urinary tract infections for me. It had the same effect on my Granny. And I love ham as much as she did. I remember we'd be at the holiday dinner tables with ham on our plates and sheepishly look at each other as if to say, "do you have the pills?" haha We knew we'd suffer in the next days but it was just too good to pass up.

In addition to ham, I plan to make sourdough dinner rolls. I don't have starter so I got online and came across a blog post with her experience of sourdough starter. Mindie has an interesting blog in case you're looking for another spot to visit. :-) I will not leave my starter outside day and night, but I have it outside right now. I don't have porch roofs, unfortunately, so leaving it outdoors is not a good idea.

Look at the beautiful sky and bright sunshine we're having today! It's about 55 degrees. What a lovely, peaceful day.

Mine is a little lumpy. Not too many lumps but there are some. Have you made the sourdough starter? Do you think a few lumps (very small ones, I'll add) will cause a problem? Do you have any tips, tricks or experiences with sourdough starter? Recipes? I came across this recipe for a dinner roll that is soft. Generally sourdough bread is crusty and a bit tough. Although I do like heavy breads, I think I'd like to try this recipe because the photo looks mouthwatering. Yeah! I'd love any advice you can give because I'm totally new to this. I have a breadmaker I've not used in years. I'd like to dust it off and use it again, too.

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We had wonderful, HOT, sunshiny weather last week. Yesterday the snow fell all day long. It had a great deal of rain with it so it did not accumulate but it was nasty and cold. Last night, the temperature dropped to 26 degrees. Not good on the strawberries that I dug and separated and moved to a new location on Saturday. Samson and I went out early afternoon and checked on them. They seem to be healthy even though they're not as perky as they were on Monday. I prayed they'd be safe from the cold because I couldn't get out there in the wet snow and rain to cover them last evening. The Lord kept watch on them for me and I'm grateful. 

I've given away about 30 plants and as you can see ... I have many more to find homes for ...

I hope your Holy Week is a fantastic one!

My poor pooch ...

(Please forgive my grainy photos. Not sure what is going on with my phone camera.)

Samson had surgery on Tuesday morning.

I didn't feel that great about him having it but it had to be done. Everything that could go wrong that morning did, including a snow storm. (I would have cancelled but I'd already rescheduled twice due to snow and, since there was only a few inches, I felt I could push my way through it. I hook Samson to my wheelchair and he can pull me. That's a big help at times. He's 50 pounds of muscle.) He had two large, deep tumors; one in the chest and a larger one in the groin. I stayed there for the surgery. The technician came out and said the tumors had been removed easier than anticipated and since they had some extra time allotted to him, they'd give me a 40% discount on a teeth cleaning. He really needed that and I'd planned having it done at a later date. I considered the savings and decided I could spare the $65 now with the benefit being elimination of future anesthesia. At his age of almost 11 years, I am mindful with his health and age. Since the teeth cleaning was all that was left to do, I went home. I returned at 5 PM for pick up and was given quite a shock ... both sticker and surgical results. The technician told me Samson had one tooth with an exposed root and "I think two others", she said, with decay at the gum line. She'd removed teeth without my knowledge although I would have approved it. I knew there had to be a reason his breath was occasionally rancid. I just didn't like the idea of her making that assumption. Maybe I'm too possessive of control over my dog. ha The bill was like a punch in the gut. I was expecting about $250 but ended up with $549. I asked for her visual opinion on the tumors. She said they appeared to be fatty tumors. The other six have all been fatty tumors so I decided not to send these off for analysis. That saved $120. I looked at the itemized bill and saw she'd given me discounts on almost everything other than the medications and anesthesia. She charged for pulling two teeth instead of FIVE and various other discounts. I am appreciative but would have preferred to hold off til I could save the money. Now I've got too much month and not enough money. haha But, my dog is healthy and that really is my main concern. There are few days left anyway.

It's been a mess. Had I known how substantial this surgery was, I would have left him at the vet's office overnight. I didn't realize the extent of it all until he was lifted into the car and I saw stitches and drainage tubes and blood and swelling and rolled back eyes. I couldn't get him out of the car on my own. My friend, Jamie, came here in, literally, a blizzard and helped me get him into the house and onto the couch bed. He has a drainage tube on both sides of the groin incision. It drips blood all over the place. I'm trying to keep a pad under him so I don't have to change the sheets so much. Samson wants to be with me in every room I go to and that was making a mess.  I parked myself on the couch bed (there is a plastic cover under the sheet) and have been on the computer along with knitting most of the day. Not what I wanted to do but I'm getting quite a bit accomplished. What I knit will be sold in October at a festival. I need to get as many items as I can completed. This is an opportunity to get that stash well on its way.

Miss Cleo usually sleeps beside Samson. She's been very concerned with what's going on with him. She sits by him and occasionally taps his head with her paw for just a second. He looks up at her as she continues her gaze. She finally did lay down to sleep but frequently checks on him and taps him on his head. She's worried about her buddy. 

He was prescribed antibiotics and a pain medication. He's not eaten much. I can tell he misses his teeth. I'm not sure yet which ones are gone. He tried to eat his dry food but either didn't have the energy or it hurt his gums. I prepared for him a small amount of chicken; about one-half cup. He seemed satisfied. He's sleeping most of the time, as long as I'm beside him. I don't mind. He's certainly spent many hours by my side while I've been ill or down in the dumps. It's the least I can do for a spirit who loves me as much as he does.

We will return to the vet on Saturday for removal of the drainage tube. After that, I won't have to watch him as closely. The stitches will be removed in 10-14 days. Even though the vet disappointed me ... and I will discuss that with her when I see her on Saturday, I will continue taking my animals to her. I take into consideration that maybe she was having an off-day or felt she knew I would approve or even somehow, via a receptionist who should have called, a misunderstanding occurred. Whatever the reason, I feel sure it won't happen a second time. 

The sun is shining brightly today with rather gusty winds and temperature high of 39 degrees. It's about 20 degrees below normal but I know in my heart that Spring weather will soon join its rightful season and Samson and I will soon be out digging in the dirt.

Happy Wednesday!

The Bandit ... without Smoky

I've been quite busy for the past few weeks. So much so, that I've not been online to read even one blog post.

For the past six months or so, my smoke detector has gone off (mostly in the middle of the night) and scared a few years off my life each time. There is no smoke to cause it, so I'm assuming it's either dust in there setting it off, or it needs replaced. It is, in addition to being powered with a battery, also powered by electricity. I read online that these systems need replaced every 8-10 years. My house is just now 10 years old. Since I cannot get to the detector battery, I called upon a dear friend, who makes my life much easier. He switched the electrical breaker off and removed the batteries; purchased an individual detector and hung it in a proper place. I can again sleep without being on edge. It disturbed Samson as well which bothered me more than anything. Now, he's sleeping soundly too.

That very evening, near dusk, I heard an unusual sound that seemed to be coming from under the house. Suddenly, Samson was in defense mode and headed to the heat register and began barking wildly; cats hissing and sniffing. I'm thinking, "Good grief, all this over a mouse (I'm sure of it!)?" I decided I'd turn the furnace on and that little critter would run back out. So ... turned on the heat ... and instantly knew it was NOT a mouse! It lumbered and galloped and thundered around. I feared it would break the duct work so I turned the furnace off. I listened and gasped! I heard a familiar chatter and a dog-like panting. No way! I'm thinking I've lost my mind and NO ONE will believe this. I went to the kitchen register ... looked into it ... and there ... staring back at me through a black mask was a raccoon!!! How in this world did that happen?! I called my friend, Jamie, to come back. (Fortunately, I've been close with his wife since the day she was born so she doesn't mind to loan him out.) He came back and we waited for it to rear its little head again. Never showed. Jamie sat here with me for almost an hour but the little fellow found his outlet to a cooler spot. I'm sure he was quite warm and thirsty after the heat from the furnace blowing on him.

The next morning I went to my car and saw little muddy 'coon prints on top of the frozen snow, heading from under the back porch to the stream just a few feet away. He needed a drink. :-)

A few days later, I was preparing to crawl under the porch to find out how this chubby little varmint was entering the crawl space. A friend stopped by at that exact time and insisted she do it for me. She said someone had cut one-half of a cinder block out and left a clear opening under the vented block. (I'm assuming the fellow who built the back porch did this when I wasn't looking. Why?) She took a few cinder blocks and blocked for me. I've had no more bandit visits but I fear the bandit left a little destruction behind. I can feel a slight cool breeze at the registers when the heat is not on. I'll have to get someone under the house this summer to check the duct work out. I hate the thoughts of sending someone under there because it's very tight. But, it must be done.

The weather is beginning to feel like Spring. Still a bit nippy but the sun is shining and that makes me joyful.

Wishing you a joyful weekend!

Forecast ...

WRONG FORECAST: "not more than an inch", said the weatherman. Woke up to over 2 inches and now before 10:30 AM there is more than 4 inches of snow. That silly storm took a left turn and headed straight for us! This is the type of snow that downs power lines and trees. There has been no road treatment for some reason. I've cleared an eating space of snow twice so far so the birds can eat without having to dig through it. The cats are having their usual intense bird watching sessions.

RIGHT FORECAST: 100% chance of knitting.

 

And snoozing ... 

Grow Your Blog Party

I'm participating in the Grow Your Blog Party hosted by Vicki at 2 Bags Full.

My name is LesleyAnn. I've lived in southwestern West Virginia for 51 years ... all my life.  I live with a dog, Samson (10-1/2 years); two cats, Miss Cleo (11 years) and Mister (10 years); and a Quaker parrot (14 years) named Baby. We're all AARP-eligible in this house.

While riding a motorcycle in 1981, I was hit by a drunk driver. I have a traumatic hemipelvectomy amputation. I was comatose and semi-comatose for almost three months in ICU and total hospital stay for ten months. Plus four months in rehab. All before I ever saw 19 years of age. My mother had been killed in an automobile accident in August 1980, buried on her 48th birthday. It's been a stressful life but I've honestly done the best I can. My maternal Granny dedicated the last years of her life to make sure I healed and lead as normal a life as possible. She always said I could do anything anyone else could. I did for the most part. Whitewater rafting. Hiking. I loved the outdoors activities. Still do. I'm just a spectator now for most of it. I use a wheelchair 100% now.

I worked as a cartographic technician for the US Army Corps of Engineers before I took disability retirement in 2001. I loved my job. It was difficult, emotionally, to leave. I was the only person I knew who never wanted to retire. My plan was to work until I died.

I own my home on the property I grew up on in Plum Hollow. I moved back here in 2004. I live independently for the most part. I do have a friend stop by every now and again to replace a ceiling lightbulb or the batteries in the smoke detectors. I like where I live but it's lonely. I rarely see people and in this age of electronics, I only hear the voices of the people on television or radio. Texting is as close as I get to people. Unless, of course, I take a trip to the local Walmart or vets office. It's difficult during winter months when I get snowed in ... like now. But, when the weather is warm ... I'm going to the local lake or friends' houses or just sitting on my porch admiring my flower and vegetable gardens.

Thank you for stopping by. I'll be having a giveaway posted in the next few days. I do hope you stop by again.